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SpongeBob SquarePants vs Cuphead
Description SpongeBob vs Cuphead. Which of these two cartoony characters with types of media named after them will win in a battle to the death? Interlude Wiz: Cartoons. Children. These two are the embodiment of the two. Boomstick: Like SpongeBob SquarePants, absorbent and yellow and porous is he! Wiz: And Cuphead, the soul-selling resident of Inkwell Isle. Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick! Wiz: And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle. SpongeBob SquarePants Wiz: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Boomstick: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! Wiz: SpongeBob SquarePants lives in 124 Conch Street with his best friend Patrick Star and worst-enemy/temporary friend, Squidward Tentacles. Boomstick: He lives in Bikini Bottom, the only place where you can be a fry cook your whole life and not be in any kind of financial trouble. Wiz: Yes...Well, SpongeBob is ABSURDLY weak. In fact, he was barely able to lift up a glass of juice and flipping channels was apparently so stressful that his arms fell off. Boomstick: Wow. ' Wiz: Yeah. However, he was able to survive this explosion at the end of ''Dying for Pie, so... (We see that explosion) '''Boomstick: Uh...I have no words. Wiz: Yes...Well, SpongeBob loves to cook Krabby Patties, giving him a spatula which he has learned to wield with deadly precision. He named it Spat. Boomstick: Spat? Wiz: Yep. It's also sometimes sentient. Boomstick: What in the-''' Wiz: SpongeBob uses it like a sword in combat with his jellyfish net. Able to incapacitate jellyfish and much larger things, like other fish. 'Boomstick: As well as his, uh...bubbles. Using his 'technique', he can create bubbles large enough to encase Squidward's house and all of Bikini Bottom's fishes. ' Wiz: These bubbles have enough force to lift up giant rocks, such as Patrick's house. Speaking of which, he can also...drive rocks. Don't ask. 'Boomstick: Yeah but back to the bubbles. He's able to create bubble bombs that can explode brick walls. ' Wiz: But aside from that, SpongeBob can alter things in...weird ways. Using simply a wrench, he was able to rotate gravity and resist those gravitational forces. '''Boomstick: Please tell me it does NOT get weirder. Wiz: Yeah...it does. He's able to resist gravity while building that same house, and he's able to enter people's dreams and change them at will. Boomstick: Huh? Wiz: He's essentially able to enter someone's mind, and he's able to function pretty well without one, but that doesn't even scratch the SURFACE of what SpongeBob's capable of. Boomstick: Yeah...SpongeBob is able to take a LOT of punishment. A bully even punched him for days on end, and he was walking around as if it was nothing. He can even think it tickles! Wiz: Oh, you have no idea, my poor soul...SpongeBob was able to...well...survive being turned to dust. He can even be regenerated from this. Boomstick: He can take off his arms and regrow them in seconds, and can even eat them like popcorn. Believe me, I do not understand it any better than you do. ''' Wiz: Maybe it's just your brain. '''Boomstick: Hey! Wiz: SpongeBob owns a guitar that can fire beams of energy, helping defeat the tyrannical rule of Plankton. However, these beams of energy didn't do much aside from destroy metal buckets , so let's move on. Boomstick: In the Quickster suit, SpongeBob was able to run to a mountain, and back, faster than the eye could see. I mean, he moved faster than a single frame, which is about 1/24th of a second. ''' Wiz: Not to mention SpongeBob can react to speeding cars on his own. '''Boomstick: Once SpongeBob becomes the Invincibubble, he is super strong, super quick and super tough, able to react to cannonballs. Also, as the name implies, SpongeBob's bubbles are technically invincible, only popped by people with equal power to him. Wiz: But SpongeBob's greatest weapon is his Magic Page. Given to him by Bubbles the Dolphin and stored in his mind, SpongeBob's able to re-write history, change the future and grant wishes. But the page does have it's limits. Bubbles said that the page can destroy the universe, which means the page can't do much past that. Boomstick: But just like the page, SpongeBob also has limits. He's a weakling with his normal strength, his durability is inconsistent at best and he's incredibly naïve, able to be tricked easily. Wiz: He's also very childish and can't take things seriously and his stupidity has gotten into trouble before. It's also important to note that while he used to not survive on land, Bubbles the Dolphin negated this. Boomstick: But if he's angry, get the hell out of his way! (SpongeBob: I AM SPONGEBOB, '''DESTROYER OF EVIL!' ''Patrick Star: Take it easy, it's just a drawing.)' ' ' ' Cuphead Wiz: Inkwell Isle. A small island in the middle of nowhere. Boomstick: Cuphead and his brother Mugman live with the Elder Kettle in the middle of the forest. They're also stupid. Like, really stupid. Wiz: Despite the Elder Kettle's warnings, Cuphead and Mugman ventured into a casino and stated to play on a mere whim. As it turns out, they had quite a good winning streak. Boomstick: Really? Maybe I misjudged them. Wiz: Until they were tricked by the Devil, who owns the casino. He made a bet: IF they won one more time, they would win everything in the casino. However, if they lost, the Devil would claim there souls. Boomstick: Wooow, we can all guess what happens next... Wiz: Mugman, seeing sense, asked him to stop, but Cuphead rolled the dice, which ended on snake eyes. Boomstick: But they bargained with the Devil. They would collect the souls of OTHER people that stiffed the Devil. The Elder Kettle wasn't angry for some reason, and instead gave them a potion that allowed them to fire bullets of energy out of their fingers. Don't do drugs, kids. Wiz: Cuphead's no pushover by himself, though. He's been able to defeat many different enemies the size of buildings, destroy a candy fortress and he's destroyed a train. Boomstick: He's also super tough, he's been able to survive being crushed, burned and run over by a roller coaster, he's also quick enough to dodge missiles and rockets while firing his bullets! Keep in mind, the slowest air-to-air missiles are about 500 miles per hour. ''' Wiz: The peashooter as it was called, is the weakest weapon in the game. It's a small blue projectile that does minimal damage. He also has a thing called EX Powers for each shot, the peashooter's is a Hadouken-like ball of energy. '''Boomstick: The Spread's able to fire 3 shots in different angles, although it's quite short range. The EX Power for the Spread is firing shots in every direction. Wiz: He's able to use the Chaser, which homes in on opponents, though it's less powerful than the other shots. Cuphead's able to surround himself in green bullets with his EX Power. Boomstick: The Roundabout is a unique weapon in that it does more damage when firing backwards. 'Why?' you'd say? Because the shots act like a boomerang and fly behind Cuphead. He can also fire a buzz saw that acts like a boomerang. Wiz: He also has a Charge shot, which, just like the name implies, charges high-powered shots. Using his EX Power, he's able to fire a short-range explosion. Boomstick: Cuphead can also Parry, a move where he jumps off pink energy projectiles for a little extra height in his jump. ''' Wiz: He can even short-range teleport, and using his Supers, he can fire a humongous beam of a liquid...energy...thing, or he can become invincible and create shadow-y clones to attack for a brief time. '''Boomstick: He can use the Hearts charm to improve his durability, at the cost of his damage. He can even use the Double Hearts to upgrade this ability. Wiz: His Sugar charm forces him to parry the first available object he sees, he can use his Coffee charm to''' charge up his Super Meter faster, and the Whetstone charm allows him to use an axe right after parrying. '''Boomstick: The thing is, Cuphead can only use these abilities one at a time and can only use Supers once he's charged up enough. ' ' Wiz: Right. He also doesn't think things through and can act rather rashly, which can get him and his brother into trouble. Boomstick: At least he didn't give the souls he collected to the Devil, but Wiz? One question, what is that damn liquid in his head? (Cuphead knocks out King Dice)' ' ' ' ' ' Intermission Wiz: Well, the combatants are set, let's end this debate once and for all. Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE! Death Battle In the Devil's Casino in Inkwell Isle, we see the Devil looking at a list of all the people who've sold their souls, but have not given it up. Devil: Mmhmm. Master Chief...Bowser...Patrick Star? The Devil stops in surprise. Suddenly, a memory appears in his mind's eye. In the memory, we see Patrick with the Devil. Devil: So , you want a donut? Patrick: Yup. Devil: The most delicious donut ever? Patrick: Yup. Devil: Sign here. Patrick signs a contract and a donut appears in front of it. Patrick claps his hands together excitedly Patrick: Oh boy! In one bite, Patrick eats the donut. Back in the present, the Devil snaps his fingers. Devil: Cuphead! Cuphead runs on screen, confused. Devil: We need you to find someone in the ocean. Patrick Star, he's pink, fat and star-shaped. The Devil points at Cuphead and shrinks him down to SpongeBob's size. Devil: Hang on. The Devil then allows Cuphead to breathe underwater. He then kicks Cuphead to Bikini Bottom. As he sinks, he sees a pink star and yellow sponge run toward him. SpongeBob: Oh, boy! A new friend! They stop in front of Cuphead and wave, but Cuphead starts and shoots at Patrick. SpongeBob yells in fright and Patrick runs away. SpongeBob: Patrick, I'll stop him! SpongeBob tries to draw his spatula. Cuphead fires his Peashooter at SpongeBob, who's distracted. The bullets hit him, but it has absolutely no effect on the sea sponge. SpongeBob draws his spatula, but Cuphead runs up to him and punches him away. SpongeBob giggles from the attack, but Cuphead dashes into SpongeBob twice. SpongeBob: That didn't tickle so much... As Cuphead goes in for another attack, SpongeBob jabs at him with the Spatula. Cuphead twists his body around and uses one of his EX Powers to fire a big ball of energy. It hits SpongeBob in the chest, sending him flying. Cuphead runs off screen and returns in his plane. SpongeBob crashes into a building far away. As Cuphead reaches him, SpongeBob throws his spatula at the plane, jamming the propeller. Cuphead crashes onto the ground, destroying the spatula. SpongeBob pulls out his bubble blower and blows a bubble-bomb at Cuphead. The plane explodes. Cuphead jumps out of the wreckage and switches his weapon to the Chaser. SpongeBob grows scared and tries to run, but the Chaser bullets follow him. The bullets trip SpongeBob over, allowing Cuphead to run up to him. As Cuphead prepares an attack, SpongeBob punches him. The punch has no effect other than hurting himself. Cuphead changes his attack to the round about and uses that EX Power. The saw flies past Cuphead and slices SpongeBob in half. Cuphead smiles and walks off. SpongeBob: Bahahahahaha! '' Cuphead jumps in shock and turns around, where SpongeBob's standing, more happy than hurt. ''SpongeBob: Prepare to meet the Quickster! With the ability to run super...quick! SpongeBob throws sand in Cuphead's eyes, blinding him. When he removes the sand, the beverage-holder sees SpongeBob in a weird uniform. Cuphead is then suddenly attacked from all angles by an unseen force. Cuphead is overwhelmed, but he punches out in a random direction, which somehow hits SpongeBob. He falls to the ground, one of his arms falling off from the punch. Cuphead looks at his hands in shock. His look quickly turns to confusion as SpongeBob's arm regrows. SpongeBob grabs his bubble-blower once more and fires a continuous stream of bubbles toward him. Cuphead jumps in the air and parries off all the bubbles. As he goes for a predictable attack, he uses the Smoke Bomb to appear behind SpongeBob before sending a Charge Shot at him, sending him flying. Cuphead steadies himself and prepares to fire his EX when SpongeBob lands. In SpongeBob's mind, we see a piece of paper, which starts to glow. As Cuphead fires his EX Power, it turns out to be disabled from the Magic Page. Cuphead decides to charge his normal attack, but that's also disabled. Cuphead secretly equips his Whetstone Charm and parries a bubble that hadn't popped. Using his axe, he chops SpongeBob up into little pieces. Cuphead celebrates, but with a pop, SpongeBob reforms. Cuphead grows enraged and engages in a fistfight with SpongeBob. Before he can, SpongeBob equips his karate gear. SpongeBob blocks Cuphead's punch and karate-chops him. The two exchange blows, Cuphead having the advantage. Cuphead knocks SpongeBob away and fires two consecutive EX Charge Shots at him, engulfing him in the explosions. Cuphead is finally satisfied and turns his back, however, SpongeBob is far from defeated. Emerging behind him with a bubble-blower on his head and a new suit. SpongeBob, now the Invincibubble, kicks Cuphead to the ground. He gets back on his feet and fires more Charge shots at SpongeBob. However, SpongeBob catches the shots with his bubbles. SpongeBob knocks the shots back to Cuphead, who parries with more Charge Shots. SpongeBob pulls out a second spatula from seemingly nowhere and runs toward the distracted Cuphead. SpongeBob turns into the Quickster once more and runs toward Cuphead at full speed. Cuphead is knocked away by SpongeBob, who trips. Cuphead looks at chest, which is seething with pain. As it turns out, SpongeBob stabbed him with the spatula while he was distracted. Cuphead's head turns toward SpongeBob. Cuphead's legs shake with strain as he stands up. As he stands up, he's filled with energy. Cuphead jumps in the air, something glows out of his head. SpongeBob stands up as a huge beam of liquid-energy flies toward him, sure to kill him. SpongeBob: Barnacles! Cuphead smiles, but suddenly, he hears a guitar. He sees something blue in the distance. SpongeBob rises into the air, playing a guitar, which starts to fire a blue stream of energy at Cuphead. As Cuphead's beam of liquid-energy reaches SpongeBob, it's stopped by energy from the guitar. SpongeBob: Let's end this! SpongeBob's energy end up rebounding Cuphead's. Cuphead's eyes widen as the energy hits his head. Cuphead's head is blasted off his body and falls to the ground. SpongeBob then pulls out his bubble-blower and blows three bubble-bombs. The bombs explode, obliterating Cuphead's body. SpongeBob walks away, feeling his black eye. SpongeBob: Patrick? I won. It's over. You're free. He walks off into the distance. '' '' Conclusion Wiz: Did-Did that just happen? Boomstick: Cuphead was a powerful beverage-holder, but SpongeBob is just way too good. Wiz: Cuphead held the strength and speed advantage in base form, but SpongeBob's durability blew his out of the water. Boomstick: Don't believe us? Take a look at this. Based on our calculations, this explosion yielded a force of 8.6 megatons of TNT and rose 10 km in the air. It's probably even higher than that. Wiz: Not to mention, SpongeBob was at the epicent''re of the explosion. While Cuphead did survive an air-to-air missile explosion to the face, it was nowhere near the amount SpongeBob has. '''Boomstick: But SpongeBob was faster using his Quickster abilities. Add in the variety of weapons he has and game over. The Magic Page is just overkill.' Wiz: SpongeBob simply could've wished Cuphead away, or he could just make himself super strong and knock him out in one punch. Boomstick: It doesn't even matter if Cuphead was the Hulk, SpongeBob could either make him super weak or just erase him from existence. ''' Wiz: SpongeBob also survived being turned to dust and regenerated so there's that. Simply put, Cuphead was outclassed in almost every category, except strength and intelligence. '''Boomstick: This match really Goofy Goober rocked! Wiz: The winner is SpongeBob. Category:'Hero vs. Hero' Themed Death Battle Category:Video Game vs Cartoon themed Death Battles Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:Completed What-If? Death Battles Category:What-If? Death Battles completed in 2019